I is...

A new style of autobiography is emerging - life described by the facebook status updates. Once you take a bunch of updates, even your own ones, and read them one after the other, you will find yourself building an intricate psychedelic picture. Like Alice in Wonderland was suddenly written by Kurt Vonnegut, then made into a movie by Luis Buñuel which was finally summarized by a college student the night before its due and during their first trip on acid.
In some distant future, digital archaeologists will crawl all over old facebooks' memory, trying to extract those lines and construct a picture of our lives. If you make fun of the people in medieval games, fighting with plastic swords, just imagine how twisted will our, overall uneventful, lives seem from such perspective.
Here are, apparently, the last couple of months of my life. I reversed the order, so it's chronological going down:
Jun 10: Filipp is in the heart of a bloody conflict between flip-flops and toe clips. one used chemical weapons on the other
Jun 16: Filipp is brought back to childhood by a caliper. Only they weren't digital before... don't you just hate when they remake old toys with new materials? like in this joke: beware of fake christmas decorations. they look just like the real ones, but give you no joy whatsoever
Jun 18: Filipp is bicycle deconstructionist in need of tools.
Jun 25: Filipp needs a fockin' 15mm socket wrench. Why is it so hard to find?!
Jul 1: Filipp is planning to bike to Quebec City for the free Paul Mc. free paul mc from unjust incarceration
Jul 2: Filipp doesn't seem to get along with bottom brackets... nasssstysss, they are nassssttysss
Jul 5: Filipp did all he could without a truing stand.
Jul8: Filipp is using thermodynamics to combat the heat.
Jul 9: Filipp thinks it's a grreat grreat day forr a crrankset overrhaul! arrrrrg
Jul 11: Filipp never slept better then after this energy drink. Marketing error? nope, reverse psychology
Jul 16: Filipp finished building his first wheel. bad news for whoever will ride it
Jul 17: Filipp 's kind is only good for bad behavior.
Jul 21: Filipp has the sinister cats of entropy. you haven't seen what mice are like around here
Jul 22: Filipp extracted the square root of all evil. and planted it near the geranium-371
Jul 25: Filipp is not too sure, but is still going to try.
Jul 26: Filipp 's bottom bracket is toast... Looks like the frame is next on the damage list. toldssss you theysss are nasssstyssss
Jul 28: Filipp is... is not... is... is not...
Jul 29: Filipp is what he is not. at least that's figured out
Jul 31: Filipp got a gi that sits like a bathrobe... wet and slippery martial arts in small spaces
Jul 31: Filipp now knows exactly which muscles he does NOT use while cycling. anatomy 101
Aug 2: Filipp gettnig some old skills back; and discovering new and unusual things about his body. anatomy 102
Aug 3: Filipp settled for semi-pijama gi. extreme violent sleeping habits
Aug 4: Filipp is no longer listed.
Aug 16: Filipp found a point at which martial arts and cycling don't meet. anatomy 103
Aug 18: Filipp is a twisted firefighter.
Aug 20: Filipp has resolved to build an entirely black bike.
Aug 25: Filipp is at war against the foot-injuring couch.
Aug 28: Filipp is in the kitchen talking to the winged person.
Sep 3: Filipp is working against entropy. good luck with that
Sep 4: Filipp is on the quest for a physics book. epic
Sep 13: Filipp is defending against physics. looks like the book was found. are you sure you needed it?
Sep 14: Filipp is bought another bike. And realised that there is no more space to store em!
Sep 19: Filipp needs to figure out a new spoke pattern...
Sep 22: Filipp has built a cross-four fixed wheel; and it is NOT pumice! in-fuckin-credible!
Sep 25: Filipp is living early, no. no...
Sep 27: Filipp has built one pretty bike...
Sep 27: Filipp is out of parts...
Sep 30: Filipp is geoace. coming through! open the main vent!
Oct 1: Filipp is flowers/bees.
This just in: Oct 8: Filipp has just wasted a bunch of time copy-pasting.
Looking at this stuff, it seems that all I do is take hallucinogens and think about bicycles. Life well lived, indeed. I hope that when I'm going to be famous and will be writing an autobiography I won't forget to use this list as references. For now I just added the little comments in italic to the updates of the origins of which I have absolutely no recollection.